The Daily Minion

Katrina Isis @ TheMinion.com
It was a wonderful day to spend outdoors. The red fruit juice was flowing, the bagels were baking, and my stomach was growling. The only way my lazy Sunday could be better was if I called in a favor to have some wacky porn whore delivered to my door in 30 minutes or less. Katrina Isis wants to make it big in porn the same way all these other girls want fame and fortune. Little do they know that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. You can’t make an omelet without cracking some eggs. Wow, I feel like steak and eggs as I watch this scene. Fellas, there’s a certain point in this scene where you can see Katrina’s soul escape her body. Be on the lookout.



Visit TheMinion.com - Take a ride on the insane train and witness a real man take charge of his bitches! The Minion | Katrina Isis

Sammi Cruz @ TheMinion.com
My conquest of the entire world continues one porn whore at a time. I heard Sammy Cruz used to do donkey shows in Tijuana and wanted to come to porn valley to mess with this gringo. She said my tits are bigger than hers but I think she’s full of shit….or is she full of beans? This little chalupa had quite the mouth on her that went to good use on my raging meatstick. Sammi Cruz sugared my churro like nobodies business. Sammi had a wet pussy like nobodies business. Sammi also runs a cleaning service that is her business but soon to be mine once I brainwash this dirty slut.



Visit TheMinion.com - Take a ride on the insane train and witness a real man take charge of his bitches! The Minion | Sammi Cruz

Lucy Thai @ TheMinion.com
Confucius said that "7 day honeymoon make whole weak" and The Minion says: "Every whore has a price". Lucy Thai brought her MSG-ridden ass to my home in hopes of becoming a huge star. She did some work but gave up faster than a Frenchman during the German assault. Luci Tai’s snatch goes up and down instead of vertically which I found very interesting. Unlike most of the other girls here she was quite submissive which is what they teach in those gook schools when they’re younger. I love Lucy Thai since she took my goo like a true champ and did my dry cleaning as well.



Visit TheMinion.com - Take a ride on the insane train and witness a real man take charge of his bitches! The Minion | Lucy Thai

Lori London @ TheMinion.com
I can’t stress enough that I am the measuring stick in porn. Lori London is a fiend for the "white stuff" and I’m not talking about jizz. Her boyfriend was arrested for trying to sneak the shit up his ass while going through airport security. I agreed to get him a bail bondsman but only if his girlfriend put her annoying voice to good use. Fuck it, she put her mouth to good use and I made sure my stamina was at an all time high. My cock was at full attention as well as my stocks in fast food places I have a vested interest in. I dumped my load and sent her on her way. I hear that her boyfriend is now on his third strike and is on the run from the law. I hope it happens so Lori will beg me for a place to crash. I’ll allow her on the condition that my buffet buddies get to gangbang her on Wednesday nights since my local buffet has pork night and I’m not down with that.



Visit TheMinion.com - Take a ride on the insane train and witness a real man take charge of his bitches! The Minion | Lori London

Lexi Milf @ TheMinion.com
I love older women. I love cheese that’s been aged as well. I had Lexi come over since I like variety in the ages of the whores I bang. It’s kind of like those breakfast cereal variety packs you find in aisle 5. This seasoned broad did something to me since I popped 2 times before I should have. I was so embarrassed but then I remembered that I’m The Minion and I never fuck up. It was her fault for being so fucking hot and milking my cock with her pussy walls. I had her come back the second and third time by promising to make her a superstar. I also told her that her husband was fucking his secretary and a great way to get back at him was to come back and let me jizz on her over and over again.



Visit TheMinion.com - Take a ride on the insane train and witness a real man take charge of his bitches! The Minion | Lexi Milf

Kelly Wells @ TheMinion.com
Kelly Wells is one of my favorite porn star whores. This is her first time on camera and she’s gone on to be the amazing whore you now see on such sites as RuthBlackwell.com and BlacksonBlondes.com I like to think that the sight of my Adonis-like body ignited the fire within her to become the best whore she can be. It almost brings a tear to my eyes since I molded this piece of meat into such a cock sucking machine. Watch the genesis of a whore in the making as she goes one-on-one with the Minion. Kelly Wells, I hope you’re reading this because I want to marry you. I’ll split everything with you except my food. Bitch, if you ever touch my food then it’s on!



Visit TheMinion.com - Take a ride on the insane train and witness a real man take charge of his bitches! The Minion | Kelly Wells

Katin @ TheMinion.com
Ah, I remember Katin. She claimed to be a surfer girl which I guess she thought made her better than the other porn whores I’ve fucked. She was wrong, wrong, WRONG! I made sure that we partied outside since I was having my house fumigated for roaches. Apparently I left some food in some hard to reach places and now my home has been infested. Anyways, this slut with big tits is just another notch on my size 62 belt. I wrapped my churro so I wouldn’t get my cock dirty with whatever she might have had. You see, I could raw dog these whores but I run the chance of getting sick and being unable to dine at the finest spots in LA. After all, I do have my priorities. Katin was last seen on a surf board hoping to catch a tsunami wave for a ride to Hawaii. I hurt to burst your bubble honey but you can’t escape the wrath of The Minion.



Visit TheMinion.com - Take a ride on the insane train and witness a real man take charge of his bitches! The Minion | Katin

Mulaan @ TheMinion.com
Before she was Tia Tanaka she was Mulaan Wang or something retarded like that. She said I looked like Buddah since my newly shaved head and big gut were present. I can’t believe the audacity these bitches have. Let it be said that I, The Mighty Minion, shelled out the funds from my own pocket for this whore to fly in from whatever godforsaken country she’s from. I could have sent a rowboat for her but I had a change of cholesterol-filled heart. Mulaan must have learned her cock sucking and fucking skills from the massage parlor I saved her from. She’s now a huge fucking deal in porn and I had a huge hand in that. However, I heard she’s still not that bright. When we fucked I told her I wanted to 69 and she said back,"Why do you want beef and broccoli now?". Simply amazing.



Visit TheMinion.com - Take a ride on the insane train and witness a real man take charge of his bitches! The Minion | Mulaan

Kacey @ TheMinion.com
After a list of pathetic porn chicks I finally nailed one of a high caliber. Kacey left the business a few years earlier in hopes of leading a normal life? Fat chance, honey! You know how many diets I’ve been on only to gain the weight back? Sometimes you are who you are and you’re another one of these worthless porn star whores here to suck and fuck me for money that inevitably winds up in the hands of your suitcase pimp! Kacey came in with a vengeance as she slammed my head into a wall moments before my "pet iguana" was in her mouth and then her "retired" cunt. I can bet you that she’ll never forget me and the cumshot I delivered to her.



Visit TheMinion.com - Take a ride on the insane train and witness a real man take charge of his bitches! The Minion | Kacey

Ty Enali @ TheMinion.com
I don’t remember where this goofy one is from nor do I care. The only things I care about are money and food. If they made money out of food then I’d be set! Nonetheless, Ty Enali came by my heavily secured location in order of securing some, um, stuff shall we say. I was in the middle of treating my sinuses to some relief when she came in looking for a quick score. Since it was a few days since I last drained my balls on some whore I decided to throw this dog a bone and allow her the privilege of sucking me off. Ty Enali must be a Filipino phrase for "dignity non-existent" because she really lived up to that name. She gobbled my goo as if it were the last batch of rice on the market.



Visit TheMinion.com - Take a ride on the insane train and witness a real man take charge of his bitches! The Minion | Ty Enali